If we truly aspire to progress, elevate our lives, embody the best version of ourselves, and contribute positively to the world, we must embrace growth and development. This journey of transformation is a powerful force, constantly propelling us forward. It's a testament to our resilience and adaptability, and it's a reminder that stagnation is the only true failure because everything is changing constantly. This potential for growth and transformation should fill us with hope and inspiration.
Of course, I mean changes for the better when I talk about changes. That we are better for ourselves and for our environment.
I often hear people insist that they will not change. Many of them think you'll become worse if you change yourself. Maybe they think they are perfect now.
I also hear some people speak in a complimentary tone about a person: He made a lot of money and hasn't changed at all! Let's face it, that's not possible. It is possible, but this is unsustainable in the long term.
Because when we live in different circumstances, to survive them, we need to adapt to them.
What is it really about when we talk about changing a person?
Understanding the power of definitions and beliefs is a key to unlocking our potential for growth and transformation. It's a profound realization that empowers us to shape our reality and align our beliefs with our aspirations.
How are Definitions and Beliefs created?
Everything we see, know, feel, or think has been defined somehow, from objects to concepts to emotions.
Some general definitions exist, such as "A table is a piece of furniture with a work surface for performing various activities."
We associate an object's generally accepted definition with emotion, and that object acquires a specific Meaning for us.
For example:
When Person A was a child, his parents always invited him to sit at the table to criticize him. When someone invites him to sit at the table, adult person A already wonders if he did something wrong somewhere. As a child, he linked the table with criticism and guilt.
As a child, Person B was invited to the table to open presents.
For those two people, an ordinary object such as a table has an opposite meaning.
Imagine that Person A is the husband of Person B and that Person B happily invites him to sit down at the table to, for example, plan a vacation. To him, he is not good at the start, and he is resistant. The worst part is that he really has no idea why.
So, even as children, we made some definitions of our own (a table is a place where I come to hear how I'm not good enough), and based on them, we formed Conclusions (when someone invites me to sit at the table, I will definitely feel guilty about something).
Based on Conclusions, we made and Decisions (I will avoid situations where someone invites me to sit at the table).
We forgot those links a long time ago.
Definitions and Beliefs are found deep in our subconscious.
They govern all our Conclusions and Decisions.
Based on Conclusions and Decisions, we React and take Action.
Our Actions and Reactions form the basis on which we write the content of all our Relationships and Circumstances.
About Definitions - A short episode from my life
When my husband and I started living together, it happened that he would come home from work visibly annoyed. To my question, What happened? Why are you nervous? He would get furious at me. He would ask accusingly. Me nervous? How did you get the idea that I'm nervous?
After several such episodes, I changed the question to see what would happen. I asked him If it was some kind of problem at work. Did someone make you angry?
He reacted to that completely normally, explaining to me what happened.
I realized he defines "nervous" as highly unpleasant, ugly, and undesirable behavior.
When I say someone is nervous, I mean they are upset, not relaxed, etc.
So, if someone reacts violently to something you said and it is not a logical reaction, remember that it may not have anything to do with you at all but with his definitions and beliefs. You may define the same things differently, and they have different Meanings for you. (remember the importance of Meaning)
How beliefs are formed
In early childhood, a child learns by 'absorbing' words, behaviors, thought patterns, beliefs, habits, etc., from the environment in which it grows. For a child, these are absolute truths. They give him a framework and a sense of security to survive. Later in their teenage years, they question some things they absorbed as children, but not everything. The most robust programs remain running. This understanding should make us feel introspective and self-aware about our own belief formation.
Deep convictions are an excellent basis for development and building a quality life if we adopt convictions that support us throughout life.
For example, it is helpful to believe that regular personal hygiene is the basis of a healthy life, that it is essential to communicate politely with people, that it is not good to spend more than we earn, etc.
However, with the best intentions to protect their children, parents often "install" beliefs in children that later limit them.
For example, a parent might tell a child not to talk to unknown people; it is very dangerous.
We all understand why a parent would say that to a seven-year-old who goes to school alone. The child trusts the parent and is obedient.
However, when that child becomes an adult, he will avoid communication with unknown people (all people are unknown to us until we allow ourselves to get to know each other.)
Can this Person become a successful manager or entrepreneur? They will refrain from communicating with unknown people regardless of qualifications and education.
So, some once-useful beliefs can become limiting at some point.
And that's precisely why I think it's useless to insist on the need to stay the same.
I had a client making great money but was constantly in the red and in debt.
Before coming to me, she underwent various training and mentoring programs on managing money, but it was all one immense pain. Substantial unforeseen expenses would always occur, spinning her in a vicious cycle of "up and down."
Her deep conviction was that a man must not be rich if he wants to be loved and respected. In her childhood, she heard from her poor parents that they talk about wealthy people, that they are people who only love money, that rich people do not love people, that money is the source of all evil, and that a person should choose whether he wants to have love or wealth in life. And similar.
When we surfaced those deep beliefs and changed them into supportive ones, her entire life changed.
Limiting beliefs regularly leads to self-sabotage.
We see that we are working to our detriment, but we can't see another option exists.
How can we change limiting beliefs?
We can only change what we accept.
So, the first step is to become aware of where we create obstacles for ourselves and remove them from the way!
When we become aware of a limiting belief, we must understand its good intention and what was the function of that belief.
For example, some people believe something terrible will happen to them if they laugh a lot, so they avoid being joyful out of fear. That's how they protect themselves. Others see them as too serious, boring, and rigid, but they just fear something terrible will happen to them.
To change a belief, we must consciously realize how meaningless and harmful it is for us.
Then, we must figure out which belief would be helpful and supportive.
Once we understand this, we can apply energy exercises to deactivate limiting beliefs and install supporting beliefs.
In this sense, tapping specific Body Meridian points on the body can be helpful while adjusting the affirmation. With expert guidance, deep energy work can make substantial energy changes, neutralize fears and addictions, self-sabotage, etc.
By actively participating in this compelling and effective method, you can change your limiting beliefs and deactivate self-sabotaging programs.
Both hemispheres of the brain are involved, giving you the opportunity to bring the subconscious programs into the conscious mind, transform them, and then set them to work for you, not against you!
I will write more about Body Meridians in the Newsletter on Tuesdays. There will be many examples and concrete instructions for application.
I remind you that the Tuesday Newsletter is only available for paying subscribers. If you are interested in this topic, welcome!
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The Power of Changing Limiting Beliefs
For years, running a mile in under four minutes was considered impossible. This belief was so deeply ingrained that it created a psychological barrier for athletes worldwide. Coaches, sports scientists, and runners were convinced that the human body could not sustain the speed required to break the four-minute barrier. This belief limited how athletes trained and performed, creating a mental block that kept the milestone out of reach.
On May 6, 1954, Roger Bannister didn't just break a physical barrier; he shattered a deeply entrenched mental one. With sheer determination and unwavering belief, he ran the mile in 3 minutes 59.4 seconds, a feat that was once considered impossible. His success was a triumph of physical endurance and speed and a victory over the limiting beliefs that had held the athletic community back for so long.
In a mere 46 days, Australian runner John Landy surpassed Bannister's record, completing the mile in 3 minutes 57.9 seconds. This rapid succession of achievements underscored the extent to which the limitation had been mental rather than physical. In the following years, breaking the four-minute mile became increasingly common.
Bannister's achievement is not just a sports story; it's a powerful metaphor for overcoming limiting beliefs in any area of life.
His story is a testament to the power of the human spirit and the importance of challenging our perceptions of what is possible.
In the previous weeks, I've been conversing deeply with my followers. I've understood that many followers are grappling with significant financial challenges. In response, I've decided that our Tuesday Newsletters (paid issue) in the upcoming period will be dedicated to proactive, energetic strategies for overcoming these challenges and achieving desired financial outcomes.
In the communication with the followers, I noticed that they have the following challenges related to finances:
I cannot earn enough for the basic necessities of life;
I cannot earn enough for a comfortable life;
I earn great money, but I can't keep the money;
I want to rise to a higher level of earnings.
It's so good to read this and that someone is raising the impact of childhood upbringing on thoughts, beliefs and decisions in later life.
For the last 18 years I've been working in the early-years sector. That's the period from conception to the age of around 5. I've learnt a lot about brain development in children, the role of the adult in that and the impact of trauma on the brain.
It's interesting that many people who don't work in this field don't associate what they do now with what they were taught and experienced as a child and the beliefs and standards with which they were inculcated.
We are the product of our upbringing - and we have to work very hard to become the adult we want to become if the natural path from our childhood doesn't get us there.....
Open mouth, Insert Foot https://open.substack.com/pub/michael880/p/open-mouth-insert-foot?r=3b6pw1&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web